Tuesday, January 27, 2009

The Middle Seat of the Pickup

Now that I have this newly discovered tool of Facebook Notes at my disposal, I feel that I should bring up the age old question of whether or not is ok for a girl to ride in the middle of a pickup.

At one time I used this topic as a conversation starter. Now that I can address a large network of people, I feel it is necessary to, take from the table if you will, this question that has, in the past, has caused quite a conundrum in group settings; not the least of which is between my girlfriend, who adamently opposes riding in the middle, and I who thinks it is completely reasonable.

That being said, i now turn the question out to the all knowing facebook public. Some of you have undoubtedly had this discussion with me before and forgot about it, but now you have had time to think about it and may have come up with some better arguments for your side. Please share, i would like to know everyone's thoughts on whether or not girls (or guys, not that there's anything wrong with that) should ride in the middle seat.

Just for arguments sake, lets say the pickup is an automatic.

Gauchos; by any other name are just sweatpants

For all of you ladies out there, I have to give it to you. Once again, you have used your innate ability for manipulation to curb something toward your convenience.

Gauchos, or Gouchos (I found both spellings), are nothing more than sweatpants. I submit they are even more laxed than sweatpants because they don't even taper in any way, shape or form, they just flap freely in the wind. Women have come up with this new name for sweatpants allowing them to dress comfortalby at the work place. Can men do this, I think not. In a professional office men are required to wear stuffy shirts and ties that trap every ounce of heat in no matter the time of year. In my opinion, this is unacceptable. Just because women dress up the name a little and throw on some heels with pants that Bozo the clown wore does not mean they are dress pants. I just think it is a little sexist to allow women to wear sweatpants in the work place and not men.

In light of this, my colleague Christopher Aderhold and I have declared Wednesdays as Goucho Wednesday from here on out. Today is his last day of work, and yes he wore his "Gouchos" to work. Everyone who has seen him today probably thought, "that guy wore sweat pants to the office, how crazy" But I think after we get past the imbalance in the fashion world between men and women then men everywhere can stand up proudly against the oppression and begin wearing their pajamas to work.

How I lost everything in Prague

Most of you know that I am backpacking through Europe. I am writing this note to say that the only thing i know for certain is that planning only helps in as far as it gets you headed in a general direction; past that you are never gauranteed that you will get a train going exactly where you want to go when you want to go there.

Colin and I have split up, he went to Berlin and I came to Prague to meet up with my mom who is here on business. I hope Colin is faring better than I. Since my arrival in Prague I have experienced the luxurious side of Europe by eating extravagant dinners on someone else's tab, and listening to live jazz on boat tours up and down the river. Also, since I have been in Prague I have managed to lose my camera bag that had all footage up to this point, my video camera itself, my digital camera, and my passport. I would give it all up just for the video that i have taken. Colin, I am sorry. I am also sorry that you have to find this out via facebook. It would be a lie to say that I have not been bummed out about my loss, however, I refuse to let it ruin my trip. I remind myself that there are much bigger things going on in the world that carry considerable significance well above and beyond the misfortunes of a person "male, middle-class, and white" who lost his camera while backpacking around europe.

That said, events such as these are going to be hilarious, eventually. They also will be what makes this trip amusing to talk about. Sure, there will be the sites that everyone who comes over here is able to view, but few will have sketchy hostels that they were lucky to stumble upon in Paris at 1:30 a.m. because they had nowhere else to stay, or birds crapping on their heads in the Louvre courtyard and not having a hostel where they could go back and shower thus resorting to using the fountain at the louvre to clean themselves off, or even misplacing all of their video footage and passports.

These will be the stories that are fun to tell and so I am not sorry they happen, just disappointed for the moment. I hope this note finds you well and that your lives are as eventful (whatever that may mean) where you are as mine is here.Peace be with you and stories to come,Chadwick

p.s. I purchased the video camera that i lost just prior to leaving for this trip. As irony would have it, I lost my camera yesterday and my credit card statement with my camera on it came due today. What that means is: i paid for a camera today that i lost yesterday. Ironic? I think so.

p.s. Colin just reminded me that on the video I made the prediction that one of us (colin or I) would lose something of value on the trip. That video documentation is on the very video camera that i lost. also ironic.

Dallas: The Wal-Mart of Life

I was smoking my pipe last night and talking with Heidi and I had this thought about Dallas. Dallas is the one-stop shop for life. Why should anyone ever go, well, anywhere? When we go to Wal-Mart, we go because it is convenient, or as Brian Manning would say, "efficient" to shop at Wal-Mart. We go there because we have filled our day with too many things to take time out of our day or week to go multiple places to buy our "essentials."

In many ways, Dallas is like that: want to go climbing? we have an indoor wall for that, want to go scuba diving? we have a pool and a pond where we sank statues of sharks and boats, want to experience other cultures? go to downtown Dallas or Fort Worth and eat at a restaurant of some foreign ethnicity. Nevermind that the entire place is covered in concrete, asphalt, power lines and lights. Nevermind that you are incapable of seeing a clear starry sky any night of the year. If you ever start to miss seeing trees just go to the zoo, they have a few set up there for the exotic animals that absolutely love being hand-fed everyday.My push here is to get everyone to move to Dallas; in the same way we are unwilling to make sacrifices in our daily lives to help the environment, promote small business, or live in community with others because there might be a few inconveniences or some inefficiencies, for these same reasons everyone should move to Dallas. By doing so, you don't have to risk anything to go anywhere or experience anything, there is a mini-version of just about anything you want to do right here. Thats the esiest, most convenient thing to do; is it not?

Sex: Public or Private Venue?

Begin: At about 6 a.m. i awoke to a rustling sound in my dorm room. For those of you who do not understand, i am traveling in Europe where i am staying in hostels. It is basically like the rack at farmhouse only it is in mixed company. This particular room has about 8 beds in it. Anyway, I wake up, i hear this rustling about two beds over. As I was coming to my senses, my first thought was, "man, this guy isn't even trying to be quiet, at least try to be discreet."

I know what you are thinking, "Chad, that is just gross and inappropriate for public reading." First, that is not the first time i have been accused of being "crude and immature" and second, i agree that it is inappropriate because it was inappropriate for me to have to witness this so now you can share in some of the awkwardness that i felt.

Continuing, I was trying to ignore it and go back to sleep, but then i heard a moan that was more to the pitch of a soprano. As it turns out, what i thought was a solo turned out to be a duo. Once i made this discovery, I had to listen closer just to make sure there was not an entire entorage in this small twin size bed. It was just the two of them and it turned out to be a short act. Believe me, I tried ignoring this, but be honest, do you think you could have gone back to sleep with all of this going on, and where could i go.

After the escapade was over, he got dressed and laid back down for a few minutes I guess just to appease her. She then starts talking about it in what she perceives as a wisper, but i did not miss a word of it from half-way across the room. The conversation that followed will have to be given on a private basis because not even i would repeat some of these things for the general audience. It made me blush though.

After a few minutes he leaves and she goes to bed. Let it be noted that he was not assigned to the room in which i was in, she was. I wake up a couple of hours later to her frantically looking around the room. She had the light on, despite the fact that others were sleeping, and was searching through all the covers of both beds in which she had previously attended, the one in which the two performed and the one in which she slept. I got up and she told me that she could not find her purse, i started to look on the beds as well and then decided that my efforts were best spent looking under the beds. The purse was nowhere to be found. Then i heard her mumble the words, "did he steal it?" She did not disclose this information, but i believe her performing arts colleague was not staying at our hostel and that she had snuck him in on her own accord. Anyway, he apparantly left with her purse that had all of her money, passport, and flight information for the plane she was supposed to be catching out of london today in it. Unfortunately, this permiscuous girl was an american. I got up and explained what she needed to do as far as replacing her passport went, then i got dressed and came immediately up here to the computer to report all i had seen.

I hope you enjoyed and i hope to get lots of comments. If i have to i will change the title so more people will read it. It will say something like "SEX TWO BEDS OVER" or something.I hope you get to experience hostel life someday.