Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Sex: Public or Private Venue?

Begin: At about 6 a.m. i awoke to a rustling sound in my dorm room. For those of you who do not understand, i am traveling in Europe where i am staying in hostels. It is basically like the rack at farmhouse only it is in mixed company. This particular room has about 8 beds in it. Anyway, I wake up, i hear this rustling about two beds over. As I was coming to my senses, my first thought was, "man, this guy isn't even trying to be quiet, at least try to be discreet."

I know what you are thinking, "Chad, that is just gross and inappropriate for public reading." First, that is not the first time i have been accused of being "crude and immature" and second, i agree that it is inappropriate because it was inappropriate for me to have to witness this so now you can share in some of the awkwardness that i felt.

Continuing, I was trying to ignore it and go back to sleep, but then i heard a moan that was more to the pitch of a soprano. As it turns out, what i thought was a solo turned out to be a duo. Once i made this discovery, I had to listen closer just to make sure there was not an entire entorage in this small twin size bed. It was just the two of them and it turned out to be a short act. Believe me, I tried ignoring this, but be honest, do you think you could have gone back to sleep with all of this going on, and where could i go.

After the escapade was over, he got dressed and laid back down for a few minutes I guess just to appease her. She then starts talking about it in what she perceives as a wisper, but i did not miss a word of it from half-way across the room. The conversation that followed will have to be given on a private basis because not even i would repeat some of these things for the general audience. It made me blush though.

After a few minutes he leaves and she goes to bed. Let it be noted that he was not assigned to the room in which i was in, she was. I wake up a couple of hours later to her frantically looking around the room. She had the light on, despite the fact that others were sleeping, and was searching through all the covers of both beds in which she had previously attended, the one in which the two performed and the one in which she slept. I got up and she told me that she could not find her purse, i started to look on the beds as well and then decided that my efforts were best spent looking under the beds. The purse was nowhere to be found. Then i heard her mumble the words, "did he steal it?" She did not disclose this information, but i believe her performing arts colleague was not staying at our hostel and that she had snuck him in on her own accord. Anyway, he apparantly left with her purse that had all of her money, passport, and flight information for the plane she was supposed to be catching out of london today in it. Unfortunately, this permiscuous girl was an american. I got up and explained what she needed to do as far as replacing her passport went, then i got dressed and came immediately up here to the computer to report all i had seen.

I hope you enjoyed and i hope to get lots of comments. If i have to i will change the title so more people will read it. It will say something like "SEX TWO BEDS OVER" or something.I hope you get to experience hostel life someday.

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